“Do I have a follower?,” I said as our one and a half year old chased after me down the hall. Sometimes I think he believes when Mommy closes the bathroom door, I’m transported somewhere else, never to return to him. I think he has now realized that not to be true, but he still wants to be wherever Mommy’s at, especially if that place is the bathroom.
This is the age when you will often hear us ask, “Is the bathroom door closed?,” several times a day. Keeping a toddler from playing in the potty and doing who knows what to everyone’s toothbrushes can be a part-time job in itself. Yes, the bathroom is a magical place to a toddler, similar to an indoor water park to them I suppose.
Who's Following You?
It’s typical for me to be followed by someone most days. I don’t remember a time in recent history when this wasn’t the case. It can be a challenge to get a moment alone when you have eight children, or any number of smaller children. I still remember when we had our first child and trying to figure out how I was even going to take a shower, being the only one at home with the baby most of the day. My solution was to pull our large bassinet into our tiny bathroom so I could see and talk to her while I tried to get clean. It was so tight in there I couldn’t even close the door, I had to leave it open.
Fast forward to today and that baby is 19 years old, and if I really need to take a shower, she can watch my new babies when she is home and my husband is away at work. I also have older boys that are great helpers. So, seasons change, but I’m still being followed. In fact, there will likely be people in every season of your life that will look to you as an example in one way or another.
You may not be followed around by eight children, but I can assure you, you’re probably being followed by someone. If you’re a parent, you’re definitely being followed. In today’s world it seems that people have become quite concerned or even obsessed with who is or isn’t following them. Social media platforms have certainly had their influence on people’s lives and in many ways, it’s not a good one.
Okay, this isn’t a bashing social media post, just thought it to be a good example. There are a lot of people that want our attention out there. Many people seek out attention because of various emotional/mental issues, but that’s another topic. A more important question to ask ourselves, is perhaps not who’s following us from afar, but, rather who are we following? Even more, where are they leading us? What draws our attention? By asking these questions you will see where you are intentionally or unintentionally leading the young ones around you.
Where are you leading?
When you are a parent, like it or not, your children will follow you. Today, they may be following you to the bathroom, tomorrow they follow you to eternity. Sounds exaggerative, I know, and it’s meant to be a little, but no less true. Even if you’re not a parent yourself, you certainly have your sphere of influence. There are those who are watching you. So, if someone is following you, where are you leading them?
In our home, we are follower’s of Christ. So with our words and actions we desire to lead our children to Him as well. We look to God’s Word for guidance in our lives and our Lord Jesus as our example for our behavior. We are certainly not perfect though. Sometimes it can seem overwhelming to have “Little’s,” or even big kids eye your every move and even at times mimic our not so great behavior. If we mess up, it’s time to apologize, change and move on.
Thankfully, God’s grace is sufficient, and His mercies are new every morning. I often get asked, sometimes more than once a day when we’re out, how do I manage to take care of all my children. My answer is always the same, “By God’s grace” and I always add, “They are a blessing!”
The Bible says in Ephesians 5:1, “Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children.” We can only lead our children, or those around us, on the path we ourselves are traveling. One cannot lead, unless they too are on the journey. Read the rest of Ephesians 5 here.
Whatever season of life you find yourself in, I hope you utilize God’s grace. I know I’ve needed it and will always need it. Also, if you happen to be like me and find yourself being chased down a hall by a crying toddler who does not want you to go to the bathroom without him, just remind yourself it’s a short season, and you have a right to a bathroom break (alone).
If you have older children still in your care, they may not follow you that closely, but be assured their eyes are on you. Of course, if you’re not with your children much, they will find others to follow and it’s not always a good following. Do not neglect spending time with your children no matter their age. If you’re able, be there. Be present. Time is the greatest thing you can spend on your children.
As parents, we are all training our children to lead others (perhaps their own families) some day. We have a great responsibility to be good examples and to lead them on paths worth traveling. Paths that are life giving. Are you leading your children, or the children around you towards life and blessing? That may be a tough question, but certainly one worth asking ourselves. Are we focused more on a social media following and how others outside our home think of us than we are on how those closest to us (often our children and spouse) view us?
It’s true, sometimes I would like to not be followed around just for a moment. After all, everyone needs a break. I can’t even count the number of times I hear “Mom or Mommy” in a given day. It’s natural for our children or those in our care to follow us though, and it’s very necessary. Watching us and observing our example is how they learn about life and ultimately has a big role in how they view the world around them. We cannot escape it. We must rise to the challenge for their sake and ours.
Maybe you feel overwhelmed at times, but remember, it’s a short season. Number your days. Know that soon they will be grown, and they will be out from under your wing. What you do now matters. Where you are going and who you are following matters more than any of us probably realize. As hard as it may be, we all need to take an occasional look in the mirror and see what others see, most importantly, what our spouse and children see.
The good news is, as long as we have breath, we can still change paths. If you’ve gotten off course and feel like you need to make changes, there’s no greater time than now. After all, this world desperately needs some true leaders. As a parent, it’s what we are called too. It may be hard at times, but we need to set good examples for our children to follow. One such example is not allowing a toddler to get their way all the time, and teach them that everyone deserves a bathroom break. “Do I have a follower?” Yes, yes I do, and you probably do too.
Note: Our most important following cannot be found online. Our most important following are the children God has placed in our care. Don’t know where you are leading? Try reading God’s Word and pray for help, He’s never failed me. Not familiar? Start here.
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