Many people (us included) will have a young one leaving to college or elsewhere this fall where they will be on their own at least part of the time. I realize that not every teen will be leaving home, some will be older before they leave the nest. This is especially true today with so many educational opportunities online and with the increased costs of living. Every case is a bit different.
Regardless of how old your child is when they venture out on their own, there are some basic things they should know. Studies show that many college kids today are lacking basic life skills needed to live independently. My husband and daughter recently visited a college, and a residential houseparent confirmed this problem through her advice. She said, “Teach them life skills.” She has been amazed at how many kids come and don’t know how to do basic things.
If you have younger ones at home, then this article is for you. Start teaching them now. Raising kids is a process, it takes time and diligence. If you have older ones, but they are still under your roof, by all means help them learn a thing or two by helping around the house before they leave. This is by no means a complete list. Below are just 10 things your teen should know before leaving home.
Psst… Before you go on, don’t forget to scroll to the bottom and Subscribe to receive free updates!
1. Balance a Budget
Money may not make the world go around as the saying goes, but it sure can negatively influence a lot of our life in the world if we don’t manage it properly that is. We all want our kids to succeed financially, and there’s no better time for them to learn how than now. I believe all teens should take a finance course to better prepare them for life after they leave home. I highly recommend the “Foundations in Personal Finance Course” (Amazon) by Dave Ramsey. Our oldest child took the online version in her High School years, and it was one of her favorite courses! You can find more resources online at Ramseysolutions.com.
2. Laundry
Some parents seem to like to do their adult children’s laundry, to that I say, you must not have eight children. Actually, I do most of the laundry in the home, and I have embraced it as the huge part of my life that it is, but the kids know how to help out when needed. They all learn to put loads in the washer/dryer, and they all are responsible for putting their clothes away properly. I have to admit, I knew very little about doing laundry when I left home. My husband taught me for the most part. However, I’m making sure all of my kids can be self sufficient in this area when their time comes to leave. By the way, this is one of the number one basic skills that college kids are said to be lacking.
3. Cook
By the time your kid leaves home, they should at least know some basics in the kitchen. It’s my experience that most teens love to eat. This love of food makes them more motivated to learn to cook/bake, if they don’t already know how. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my kid living solely off of a traditional college diet of ramen noodles, candy bars, cereal and whatever comes out of a vending machine. Make sure your child can make some healthy food on their own, they will appreciate it later. If they get married, their spouse will definitely appreciate it too! Make sure they also know how to safely use a fire extinguisher.
4. Shop
If you’re like most parents, you do most the household shopping without much help from your kids. However, kids can greatly benefit by learning how to shop, whether it be for clothes, food, or larger purchases like vehicles and real estate. Teach your child how to spot good deals and avoid scams. This takes practice. This is a skill they will use their whole life, and it will help them manage a home and family of their own one day. Besides that, knowing how much things really cost helps them have a good perspective of how to manage money in the real world.
5. Organize/Clean
What does it matter if you have anything, if you don’t know where it is? We’ve all heard the saying, “A place for everything and everything in it’s place.” From organizing wooden blocks when they’re two to getting the clothes in the hamper when they’re 13, kids benefit from learning to stay tidy and organized. Staying organized and clean really ties in with a person’s character. When we are thankful for our things, we will tend to care for them more. If there are a lot of things we don’t care about that are just causing clutter, then we need to learn to let go of stuff. Help your child create a routine of decluttering by giving them boxes for donating or selling, trashing, and keeping. Show them how to create an organized space for important things. If you lack in this area, learn together.
6. Vehicle Maintenance
Vehicle maintenance isn’t just for kids who want to be mechanics. If your child owns a car, they should know the basics about how to maintain it and how to spot if something is wrong. Checking the oil/other fluid levels and tire pressure is an important part of keeping your vehicle safely running. Whatever knowledge you have, pass it on. If you’re not car savvy, maybe you could learn a thing or two together from someone who is. When you’re stranded on a road and have no cell service, knowing how to put on a spare tire yourself is priceless. Also, changing your own oil can save you quite a bit of money.
7. Time Management
Whole books have been written about this one. Knowing how to manage your time and prioritizing what’s most important is a skill that most of us can benefit from improving on, no matter our age. Helping our kids with day-to-day schedules and with long term goals can help them grow in this area. We need to teach our kids to make time for what’s important. Our time management skills (or lack there of) can effect everything in our lives, especially our relationships. Kids should know the importance of respecting other people’s time as well. This often means being on time when someone is relying on us to be somewhere. So, if they struggle in this area, get a daily or monthly planner for them and help them schedule their life in a way that makes sense and benefits them. One of my favorite books on time management can be found for under $10 on Amazon and is titled, “Eat That Frog” by Brian Tracy. This is one of the most useful books I’ve read, it’s great for everyone, including teens.
8. Social Etiquette/Manners
Of course, we should always be teaching manners, from the time they are a toddler and beyond. However, many things are different today than when we were kids. Writing a handwritten letter is almost a lost art. Visiting someone at their home is often replaced with a text message. Does your teen know the value of true face to face relationships? This is one of those many areas where parents can lead by example. Does your child know how to properly show respect to elders and those in authority? When people visit other countries, one thing they often do is study the manners and customs of that country. Pretend your child is visiting their own country for the first time, do they know how to act in different settings etc…
9. Basic Self Defense/Street Smarts
We’ve all seen someone who has a lot of book smarts but zero street smarts. It’s our job to make sure our kids aren’t one of them. We need to instill a level of awareness in our children. This can start very young. Unfortunately, in today’s world it kind of has to. We certainly need to guard our children, but we should also be training them for a time when they will be out on their own. You can go over basic self defense, or even enroll in a class or two. Many Martial Arts groups and community centers have classes on self defense. If your child is leaving soon, go over the basics, like being aware of your surroundings, traveling in pairs, and what to do and not to do in different emergency situations.
10. That You Love Them
Okay, so this is not a practical life skill, but it’s definitely something they need to know. Keeping a healthy relationship with your kids is essential. This doesn’t get any less true when they are older. They should know that you love them and that they can always call on you for guidance or just to be a listening ear, etc… Our relationship with our kids doesn’t end when they walk out the door. In many ways, it’s just beginning. As young adults, our children can now relate to us more, and we can reach new levels of communication. Our relationship with our children is meant to evolve and change according to each new season of their life. However, it should never be neglected, but rather, cherished and maintained.
Check out some of our other family blog posts:
Great words of wisdom. (Especially about the fire extinguisher. Lol)
Glad you liked the blog. I still need the fire extinguisher close by! A definite necessity! Thanks for commenting. 🙂
Blessings, Amanda