“You are so blessed,” these words hit me deep and they still resonate. Some words speak to you long after they are spoken. It was a busy weekday, I had just dropped one of my kids off at music lessons and with about 5 kids in tow, I was off to do some multitasking. We live a ways from a decent size grocery store, and I needed a few things that day. I had only about 40 minutes or so to make the drive from the music drop off, to the store and then back to pick him up. Time flies when you’re on a schedule.
To the Grocery Store
Any parent of multiple children can attest that it’s not always the easiest task taking young ones to the grocery store. I’ll admit that due to me doing so much online grocery shopping the last several years, some of my younger children are just not accustomed to sitting through even a small grocery haul. It’s not their fault really, it’s just a training ground they haven’t been to as much as the older kids.
Some do just fine, while others in their early years might have to be taken out to sit with someone in the car once or twice before they realize it’s a privilege to venture into the store. Of course, for me it’s just a chore. I’m happy to report that at the time of writing this, they all do quite well in a store (most of the time).
I remember running short on time that day and feeling a bit rushed by the clock. Our two youngest were secure in the cart. I had placed the car seat with our youngest in it in the back of the cart and my toddler in the front seat. The baby was a bit cranky, so I felt all the more rushed. I was trying to hurry and remember what I needed, going from aisle to aisle, older children of course were trying to help by telling me what they thought I should buy. They’re helpful that way. Those days my toddler usually had my attention, he demanded it. Like a bad storm coming if you weren’t watchful of him, you could get caught in some nasty weather, it’s always good to have a plan in case you have to run for safety.
The clock was ticking, I was hoping I was not going to be late in picking up our son from music lessons. I’m generally a calm and collected person, so when I’m juggling life with the kids, it probably doesn’t often appear that I have a million things going on in my head. Going to the store sounds like a simple thing to do, but when you have a bunch of small kids, everything is harder. If it seems easy one day, I’ve learned to not take pride in it. The next time could be a humbling experience. I have found that parenting is full of those if you do it long enough.
The Old Lady
At one point while shopping between aisles, I glanced over, and a little old lady caught my eye. She was just roaming around. There was something interesting about her. She didn’t appear to be shopping… just passing through. I finished my shopping and got to the self-check out. By this time, the baby was starting to cry and was pretty fussy. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that same old lady slowly approaching me. She was small and frail looking but had a sweetness about her. I turned towards her and leaned my ear down a bit to hear what she had to say. In her soft, shaky voice she slowly said, “You are so blessed, I wish I was you.”
Like receiving something special that you can’t really look at and appreciate in the moment, I tucked it away. Honestly, I don’t remember exactly what I said to her. I think I said something like, “Yes, I am. Thank you.” I continued checking out, the baby was still upset and then I realized that my toddler’s sippy cup had been leaking onto her car seat from the seat above and now her bottom was wet. I tended to the baby, loaded the groceries and kids into the car and was probably a couple minutes late picking up my son from music lessons.
My experience with the old lady at the store captivated my thoughts on the drive home. I remember thinking how I was going to be that old lady soon and all my kids grown. This was a sobering thought, so much so that the idea of having more children invaded my mind. Then I was thinking, what would my husband say to that. I suddenly felt a strong appreciation for the stage of life I’m in. I wasn’t ready for it to end. Having the end in mind seems to help lend a measure of grace to endure the struggles and even help you have joy in them. When others might have had pity on me in the store that day, this lady was envious. She saw a blessing when others just saw a lot of work. She had earned wisdom through her many years of life that caused her to see through a different lens.
Counting your Blessings
It’s a sad truth that we seldom fully appreciate something until it’s gone. Many times, that’s how it is in parenting. The sheer amount of work it takes to raise a tribe of littles can often mask the totally amazing process that is really taking place. Some of you reading this might be in that place yourself. It’s easy at times to get so weary in our work that that’s all we see -work. If you find that your joy has dwindled and life is just a struggle, something to endure, I hope this article can encourage you in some way to see the blessings that are before you. With our third child graduating this spring, I can tell you, it really does go by more quickly than we realize.
When you’re having a long day with your kiddos and you’re dreaming of rest, know that there is a day all too soon when you will rest. If only you could somehow look through the lens of 80-year-old you, what would you see? When that time of rest comes, I hope we can all look back and say we’ve run the race well, we laid it all on the line, we gave it our all and perhaps, most importantly, we counted our blessings. Children are indeed a gift from God, I hope you take time to enjoy your gifts today and remember how truly blessed you are!
It’s been a while since my encounter with the old lady, but her words have stayed with me. Perhaps she was an angel with a special message?? Or maybe she was just someone who longed for what she once had (or never had) and saw a mom with a bunch of kids struggling to get through a grocery store and care for her family and saw it for what it is, a blessing.
“You are so blessed.”
Til’ next time,
Amanda
