Dating Your Spouse

Time for a Date?

Are you dating your spouse? It’s a new year and maybe one of your resolutions is to date your spouse more, or maybe it should be. Despite what many may believe, your date life should not end when you get married. In fact, it should be more like the beginning. However, life can get busy when you’re adulting, and unfortunately work and family life can get so that we forget to prioritize time with our spouse.

I’ll admit with eight children of our own (one in college), my work caring for them and our home, and my husband’s full time work, among other things, it can be hard for us to find time to go on dates. We rarely find ourselves alone together outside the home. We’ve even found ourselves at weddings, funerals, grocery stores, and doctor’s appointments looking at each other and asking, “Does this count as a date?” One of us always replies, “I’m counting it!” Of course, what we mean is that no matter the circumstance that brought us together, we appreciate the fact that we are together.

Of course, there were many seasons when we were able to be out more, so if you relate to our current season, be encouraged, it will change some day. Things always do. Just remember, though you may need to get a little creative and think outside the box, time together is a must. Besides that, if you have children, happy parents raise happy kids. So plan some fun for you and your spouse, your whole family will benefit.

What's a Date Anyway?

For some of you it’s been so long that you’re asking, “What’s a date?” Hey, I get it, life can be demanding, but we make time for what is important. If you don’t have time to spend with your spouse, then it’s really time to look at your schedule and see if you can cut some stuff out. You got married to spend a life together not to be two ships sailing in opposite directions or just passing each other by.

On the other hand, sometimes time isn’t an issue, and we’ve just gotten lazy about pursuing our spouse. If this is you, ask for forgiveness. Don’t make any big promises just make a commitment to yourself to not take your loved one for granted. There’s no better time to start fresh than now.

Marriages don’t fall apart over night. A marriage is like a garden that needs tending daily. If you’ve ever had a garden, you know that life can survive in it for many days without being cared for. However, eventually neglect will start to kill it and it will become an obvious mess. When things are in this condition, you may not know where to start. If this sounds like your marriage, though not easy, it’s never impossible to bring it back to life. It just takes good old fashioned work.

Plan That Date!

If you think you don’t have the finances to date your spouse, then it’s time to change your idea of a date. First of all, lets be clear, with some planning, forethought, and dedication, people can typically save some money for special occasions.

The good thing about special occasions like birthdays, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, etc. is that you always know in advance when they are. Of course, that’s another reason you can look pretty bad for putting zero effort into those days, it’s not like it should have caught you by surprise, but hey no condemnation here. Let’s move on.

Going on dates and spending time together, however, doesn’t have to be expensive. Having a date is simply setting time apart to focus on being in each others company. Sure, lavish dates can be nice, but so can simple things when there’s thought and care put into them. So don’t let money be an excuse to not spend time together.

My husband is an excellent cook and I’m not half bad myself, so instead of paying for overpriced meals out, we often opt to cook our own candlelight dinners. Personally, it’s hard for me to spend money on an expensive cut of meat to have somebody ruin it on a grill, but occasionally it’s nice to go out and be served and skip the clean up. We are not beyond enjoying the occasional fast food picnic either. To each it’s own.

Besides going out on dates, however, it’s even more important to stay connected with your spouse on a daily basis. Consistency is key. While leaving the house isn’t always possible, there is no reason to neglect physical intimacy and communication. If you wait for the perfect time to be romantic with your partner, you might be waiting awhile. Keep the fire burning, so when a chance at a day or night out comes, you are both ready to fully enjoy it.

Need a little inspiration for your next date? We’ve got you. Below are some free date night ideas to get you thinking and on your way to planning your next date. Happy dating!